It’s ok to stare

I have one breast. A single large D-cup breast. This is not something you see every day, if ever.

The other day I noticed a lot of people staring at my chest. At what wasn’t there. I wondered when is it too much? When is staring invasive and rude? Where is the line?

Maybe there is no line. Maybe there’s nothing wrong with staring at something you don’t understand. Maybe that’s how we try to make sense of things we see.

Yes, sometimes I feel self conscious, embarrassed, and exposed. But people shouldn’t have to act as if it’s common and something seen every day, because it’s not. Having only one breast is not normal. There is extreme pressure for women to look a certain way, and when we go against that grain it is glaringly obvious. I made a decision that I’m 100% comfortable with but that doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings about it, too. Big feelings.

I have never seen another woman with one breast, but I know they’re out there. I know I’m not the only one. There is some comfort in knowing that I am not blazing some new path here. I am on a similar path as many, many women before me who don’t hide that they have one breast, even if I have never seen them or met them.

So it’s ok to stare. It’s ok to double take. It’s ok to be confused. It’s ok to wonder why someone has one breast. It’s not rude to stare. Stare if you need to stare, take it in, and learn something from it. Ask questions if you want to. Don’t be ashamed to look. It’s ok.

 

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3 responses

  1. Yeah Beautiful Amazon women!
    I too am a prosthetic free, reconstruction free, one breasted D cup gal. I always have found it irritating to have anyone stare at my chest, one or two breasted- but since transitioning to one lone breast I realized that it is important to me for people to see the impact of Breast Cancering- something they are “protected” from when women use faux babas. Certainly what is right for each woman is different – to get reconstruction or not etc is a tough choice. I am happy with my choice too, this week marks the 2 year anniversary of my mastectomy and I have not regretted my choice to not reconstruct, or use a prosthetic.

    I have found more often than not that people actually fail to notice – even once while wearing a tiny tank top on a hot summer day and getting gas at a truck stop. Reassuring I suppose.

    My son helped me with a photo shoot of what we call Boob-O’ Flauge – if you would like a laugh, my post about it is called Camo for Amazons. https://pookaride.com/2014/07/22/camo-for-amazons/

    Are you familiar with the site Breast Free? http://breastfree.org It has been really inspiring to me.

    Finally there is a great youtube video from an Australian woman about body image – including a moving story about two one breasted women who inspired her. https://youtu.be/r6-hj3nCw10

    I’ll stop now before I write a novel.
    warm wishes-
    iris

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Leah, you NEVER cease to amaze us. You are an inspiration to all and, speaking for myself, an inspiration to me! You are the strongest, wisest young woman I know and I am so very, very proud to call you daughter. Love you so much. xxoxoxx

    Liked by 1 person

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