Scar tissue

The ultrasound was clear yesterday! Woo! The doctor at the Wende Breast Clinic said it is scar tissue. One less thing to worry about.

In case you didn’t read my previous post, last week Dr. S (my oncologist) bugged her eyes out of her head when she felt what she thought were lumps above my mastectomy scar. She announced in her all-business Romanian accent, “These should not be here! I am ordering an ultrasound immediately!” Amelia and I were on edge to say the least. Let’s face it, we all write stories, usually bad ones.

After the appointment with Dr. S, Amelia and I talked about how my breast surgeon, Dr. Y, would probably have reacted differently. He would probably say in his chastising Jewish accent, Look, that area is going to change. It’s totally fine. Stop worrying. Are you stretching? Show me how high your arm can go. 

It’s good Dr. S wanted it checked out even if it was a false alarm. This is a time when if anything feels not quite right, you get it checked. This is not a time to ignore the little things; it’s a time for hyper vigilance.

 

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4th round of chemo

Today was the over-the-hump-day for chemo. I am now more than half way through my treatment. I’m still quite neutropenic, and my liver numbers are through the roof, and will be for the duration. I will try to lay low for the next two months.

I’ve had some discomfort in the area above my mastectomy scar for the past week. It feels like it’s bruised and tender to the touch. Today during my exam, my oncologist found two nodules (lumps) there. Big trigger of emotions for Amelia and I. BIG. We both felt like the bottom dropped out, again. The doctor said they could be cysts, but she was very concerned and said I need an ultrasound as soon as possible. We are trying to process this information. Worry does not help. Assuming does not help. Waiting for answers is torturous.

I’ve always had cystic breasts. When I would get my yearly mammograms I’d get my cysts aspirated as well. And there were LOTS of them, giant “whoppers,” as one breast specialist told me. When a surgeon performs a mastectomy he/she tries to take all the breast tissue. It’s hard to know when to stop cutting, and inevitably some breast tissue could get left behind, especially when they’re dealing with a very large D cup. That’s why it’s possible these lumps could be my typical cysts, even though my breast is gone.

Once again, it’s crappy timing around a holiday weekend, just like my original diagnosis where we had to wait through Labor Day for an MRI. Today is Wednesday, and the ultrasound appointment isn’t until Monday. There’s a really good chance that the lumps will get biopsied to rule out the worst case scenario – that cancer is growing and thriving on my chest wall while I am freakin’ getting chemo. Hell, no!

I just keep telling myself, They’re filled with benign fluid. They are filled with benign fluid.